For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
