Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
A+ Viking dick
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
