He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he laminated a picture of his dick.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
