You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
