That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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