just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think your dad took our porno
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
