we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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