you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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