I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
