I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
