Yo dont text me then not text me
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
