his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
