i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
