So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
