i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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