This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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