Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
