and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
