I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
