she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
