I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
