I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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