I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
