He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
