My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
