So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
