what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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