Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
