That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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