Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
