My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
