Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
