I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
