I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
