My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
