spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
