Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
