i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
4 words: hood of his car
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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