he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
