thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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