omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
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