Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
