There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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