when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
