I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
