All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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