New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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