Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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