We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
