the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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